Published on January 23rd, 2017 | by adam curran0
5 Things I Want Young Moms To Know
I was twelve when my parents divorced, and in a non-traditional fashion, my mom left the house and took my brother and sister with her. As a result, I was raised by my dad while my relationship with mom was completely non-existent. Recently, we have reconciled, but I went roughly 15 years without a relationship with her. I missed having a mom during those times, so here is what I want for young moms to know about their relationships with their kids!
1. Just Being There Is Worth More Than You Know
My dad was a great dad and did everything he could, but nothing takes the place of maternal affection. Affection comes with love and proximity, so just being there for your kids is worth more than almost anything. Picking up your kids from school, making their sack lunches, loving them through their many trials and tribulations are many ways that moms do a great job of taking care of their kids, but don’t quit. Don’t give up. It is extremely hard but pray for patience during the many trials they give you through the day.
2. Give Yourself Some Grace
Because we have young kids, I am around a lot of young moms and am married to one. The challenges you face today with social media, numerous philosophical ideas on the best things for your children, the way your mom did things, and the way the world thinks you should be are nothing to shake a stick at, but give yourself some grace. You have a God-given maternal instinct to know what your kid needs. Kids don’t come with a manual, so don’t worry too much about getting it right or wrong. Sure, things like nutrition, exercise, bedtime, etc., are extremely important, but you are not perfect and your child does not need you to be. Jesus was perfect for you, so you don’t have to be perfect in anything, including parenting. So breathe and relax!
3. Don’t Be Afraid To Challenge Your Kids
Moms are hard-wired to give affection and love in doting amounts, but don’t think your kids don’t need a little pushing. My wife is great at giving affection when a knee is scraped or someone falls, but she also will say, “You are OK” when they really are OK. You will not always be there, so they need to be trained to pick themselves up sometimes when something bad happens. I am not advocating that they need our kids need to be fearless independents, but they need to be challenged that they can do more and to be resilient, because life is tough. Help them to learn how to deal with the difficult situations that will arise.
4. Help Them Learn Delayed Gratification
I learned this by nature of our income situation as kids; we couldn’t get everything we wanted. As a kid, I worked hard and saved up a long time to buy the same things other kids got pretty frequently. No matter what your financial situation, don’t buy them everything they ask for, even the little things at the candy store. Life will not give them everything they want, and even if you have the means to do so, remember you may be doing more harm than good. Delayed gratification will teach them to appreciate what they earn and will take care of their things longer. Besides, it makes them better functioning members of society.
Pray for their protection. Pray for them to grow in knowledge and affection for Jesus. Pray for patience and wisdom. Pray for their friends as they grow older. Pray for their future spouses. Pray over everything and be amazed at the responses God will give you. You are not in control anyways, so pray that God would be glorified in your parenting!
What are some things that are helpful for you?